Money matters can be a significant source of conflict in relationships. Whether it's disagreements over spending, saving, or budgeting, financial disputes can lead to tension and stress in relationships. At Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic, we understand the complexities these conflicts bring and are here to offer support and guidance.
In this blog, we will be exploring:
Why money can cause conflict
Tips for conflict resolution
Our couples therapy options
Why Do Couples Argue About Money?
Financial disagreements are common in relationships. According to Psychology Today, money often represents more than just dollars and cents. It can symbolise security, power, freedom, and self-worth. These beliefs can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, especially if partners have different financial priorities or backgrounds.
“Money is loaded with power and meaning that can make discussions heated and hurtful. Arguments about money aren’t about money. They are about our dreams, our fears, and our inadequacies.”
Source: The Gottman Institute
Tips for Conflict Resolution
Are you and your partner fighting over money? It’s not uncommon. In fact, arguing about money is one of the most common forms of conflict in a relationship.
Here are some practical tips for resolving relationship conflicts over money.
1. Open Communication
Effective communication is the cornerstone of resolving any conflict. When discussing money, it's essential to be open and honest about your financial goals, habits, and concerns. Set aside time to talk about your finances without distractions. Listen to your partner's perspective and try to understand their point of view without judgement.
2. Set Common Goals
Working towards common financial goals can help unify your efforts and reduce conflicts. Whether it's saving for a home, planning a vacation, or building an emergency fund, having shared objectives can provide a sense of direction and teamwork. Discuss and agree on your short-term and long-term goals, and make a plan to achieve them together.
3. Create a Budget
A well-planned budget can be a powerful tool for managing finances and reducing conflicts. By clearly outlining your income, expenses, and savings, you can avoid misunderstandings and ensure both partners are on the same page. Regularly review and adjust your budget as needed to accommodate changes in your financial situation.
4. Establish Healthy Spending Boundaries
Setting boundaries around spending can help prevent conflicts and ensure financial stability. Agree on spending limits for discretionary expenses and discuss major purchases before making them. This can help both partners feel more secure and respected in the relationship.
5. Seek Professional Help
Instead of going in circles, it may be time to seek the guidance of a professional. A financial advisor can provide objective advice and help you develop a plan to manage your finances effectively. Additionally, couples therapy can be beneficial in addressing the underlying emotional issues related to money conflicts. At Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic, our experienced therapists can help you navigate these challenges and improve your relationship.
6. Address Underlying Issues
Sometimes, money conflicts are a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship. Consider whether other factors, such as power dynamics, trust, or communication issues, are contributing to your financial disputes. Working on these broader issues can help improve your overall relationship.
FAQs About Couples Therapy
Does couples therapy help with money arguing issues? Is online therapy available? Let’s answer some frequently asked questions about couples therapy.
What is the Gottman Method in Couples Therapy?
The Gottman Method in Couples Therapy is an evidence-based approach developed by Dr. John Gottman, based on over 40 years of research into what makes relationships work. This method focuses on improving communication, managing conflict, and building stronger relationships.
Madonna Hirning, director of Sunshine Coast Couple Therapy, is a certified Gottman therapist ready to help resolve conflict in your relationship.
How much does couples therapy cost?
Couples therapy at Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic costs $200 per hour. Sessions longer than one hour are calculated based on the therapist's hourly rate. While Medicare rebates are not available for couples therapy, you may be eligible for rebates through private health insurance. We recommend checking with your insurer for more details.
Is online couples therapy available?
Yes, at Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic, we offer both face-to-face and online couples therapy sessions. This flexibility ensures that you can receive the support you need regardless of your location or circumstances. Online sessions are conducted with the same care and attention as in-person sessions.
Can I do therapy by myself?
Yes, your relationship can benefit from therapy, even if both parties don’t want to participate.
Our skilled psychologists can help you understand the issues you have and help you develop new thoughts and behaviours.
Explore Couples Therapy With Madonna Hirning
Arguing about money is a common issue in many relationships, but it doesn't have to lead to ongoing conflict. By implementing these tips for conflict resolution, you can foster open communication, set common goals, and develop effective financial strategies.
At Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic, we are here to support you through these challenges. Whether through individual counselling or couples therapy, we can help you navigate financial conflicts and strengthen your relationship. For more personalised advice and support, please contact us today.
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Author - Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic
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